Law Humor and Lawyer Jokes

 Law Humor and Lawyer Jokes

Law humor and lawyer jokes are always welcome at STREET LAW FIRM, if you have a “G” rated one, please leave it in the comments, we’ll be happy to include it.

Said in the courtroom

The following things were actually said by people in courtrooms across the country:

  • Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?

A: No. I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

  • Q: Are you married?

A: No. I’m divorced.

  • Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?

A: A lot of things I didn’t know about.

  • Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

  • Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”

  • Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

  • Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th

  • Q: What year?

A: Every year.

  • Q: And where was the location of the accident?

A: Approximately milepost 499.

  • Q: And where is milepost 499?

A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

  • Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

  • Q: Was this a male or a female?

Car crashes

Another set of funnies. When police asked people who had been involved in car wrecks to describe what happened, their descriptions often made it clear that the car wrecks were mysteriously unavoidable. Hence, some actual examples from police files:

  • “Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.”
  • “The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.”
  • “I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my head through it.”
  • “I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”
  • “A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.”
  • “A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
  • “The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
  • “I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”
  • “The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing.”
  • “In my attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.”

Even more car crashes

  • “I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.”
  • “I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.”
  • “I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.”
  • “The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into another vehicle.”
  • “The other car attempted to cut in front of me so I, with my right front bumper, removed his left rear tail light.”
  • “I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”
  • Wow. “I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.”

Even More Law Humor and Lawyer Jokes…Memes

Crazy excuses

  • “I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was a crash.”
  • “I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”
  • “As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”
  • “To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”
  • “My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”
  • “An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.”
  • “I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat I found that I had fractured my skull.”
  • “I was sure that old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.”
  • “When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
  • “The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go so I ran over him.”

Act Now To Protect Your Rights

Without question, your Dallas car wreck case is subject to the statute of limitations. Almost certainly, if you don’t act now you may lose your right to compensation for the personal injury you have sustained. Therefore, contact Dallas car wreck lawyer Dan Street at our Dallas law firm as soon as possible.

Also, you are welcome to submit your case for free!

Personal Injury Newsletter

Also, our STREET LAW FIRM publishes an online newsletter dedicated to informing you about current trends in personal injury law, tort reform, and wrongful death law.

Furthermore to receive a free copy of our Law Alert Blog, “Law Alert”, submit your name and e-mail below. Your information will be kept strictly confidential, and we’ll never share or sell your information to any third party.

  *

  *

Insurance Company Hits

Denial Hits To MusicInsurance Company Top Denials

Insurance company hits: Insurance companies take in billions of dollars of premiums. However, when the tables get turned and it’s time for an insurance company to pay you a settlement because you were injured in an auto acci­dent, the insurance company sings a different tune. Furthermore,  insurers will use any excuse to avoid paying a fair settlement. Hence, some of the more common excuses are listed below.

    1. You were speeding and there­fore could not avoid the accident Highway to Hell – by AC/DC).
    2. Your car had defective equip­ment that caused the accident Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses – by U2).
    3. You failed to use a turn signal Turn! Turn! Turn! by The Byrds).
    4. You were not paying attention before the accident Don’t Stop Me Now – by Queen).
    5. There were no witnesses to the accident except for the passen­gers in your car … and they don’t count. Can I Get a Witness? by SonReal).

Don’t let an insurance company give you the old song and dance routine and avoid paying you what you deserve. Call us today and together we’ll make the insurance company sing sweet music to your ears.

Also for more humor and lawyer jokes click here

Dallas Auto Accident Lawyer

Dallas Auto Accident Lawyer

Auto Accident Lawyer: Dallas' STREET LAW FIRM.
STREET LAW FIRM 13101 Preston Road, Ste 500, Dallas, TX 75240-5231

 Dan Street an auto accident lawyer at STREET LAW FIRM has the experience to fight your auto accident case.

In fact, every STREET LAW FIRM lawyer has experience fighting auto accident personal injury cases.

Dallas auto accident lawyer Dan Street and his associates have more than 35 years of experience handling personal injury and wrongful death cases related to auto accidents.

If you have suffered a personal injury in an auto accident, Dan Street can help. Personal injury is one of only two types of law we like to handle at STREET LAW FIRM. The other type is wrongful death cases.

However, we have collected tens of millions of dollars for personal injury victims, including Texas auto accident victims.  We have handled literally thousands of auto accident personal injury cases. A Street personal injury lawyer will fight to recover the compensation you deserve if you have suffered a personal injury in an auto accident. Contact an experienced Dallas auto accident personal injury lawyer today and we will evaluate your case absolutely free!

Dallas Auto Accident Personal Injury Case?

Dan knows an auto accident can cause you serious personal injury, and unfortunately, sometimes result in your wrongful death. Furthermore, Dallas personal injury lawyer Dan Street has extensive experience in auto accident injury cases.

Whether you live in Dallas, or anywhere in Texas, auto accidents are happening in ever-increasing numbers. As the population grows so do the traffic jams on LBJ. However, there is growing concern about lax auto safety issues and the personal injury suffered from accidents. Don’t be a victim of a negligent driver or auto manufacturer. Contact an experienced auto accident personal injury lawyer to protect your rights.

Auto Accident Personal Injury Rates On The Rise

In 2016, 40,327 people lost their lives in an auto accident, and 4.6 Million people were injured in these same auto accidents. Again, that’s almost five million injuries resulting from auto accidents.

In Texas alone, there are almost 10 fatalities every single day. That’s one fatality every 2.4 hours. Auto accidents are the leading cause of death for every age from 15 through 30 years old.

Large Trucks

Although large trucks account for only three percent of all registered vehicles, collisions involving large trucks accounted for seventeen percent of all traffic fatalities. And while many may tout that accident rates have fallen since 1991, in actuality, the number of fatalities has increased. Certainly, it is small wonder that concern about the safety of trucks, buses and SUV’s on our roads is increasing.

Alcohol-Related Auto Accident

In 2016 there were 10,497 fatalities in alcohol-related auto accidents. While this is a welcome decrease over previous years. Many are contributing it to ride-sharing services. Services such as Uber and Lyft. Other factors include social awareness, stigma, and an overall attention to better physical health.

The 10,497 alcohol-related fatalities in 2016 (28 percent of total traffic fatalities for the year). 1233 of those fatalities were children 17% of all child fatalities are alcohol-related.

Drunk drivers must be stopped! If you suffer a personal injury resulting from an auto accident because of the carelessness and negligence of a drunk driver, contact an experienced DUI Victim lawyer in drunk driving cases today!

Don’t Be A Dallas Auto Accident Victim

If you have suffered a personal injury in an auto accident, it’s important to protect your rights. Contact a Dallas auto accident lawyer at the STREET LAW FIRM as soon as possible. An auto accident lawyer experienced in personal injury law can evaluate your personal injury case at no cost to you. If we determine you have a personal injury claim, we will handle your case aggressively.

You pay absolutely nothing unless we win your personal injury case.

Submit your case for FREE!

 

Thanks For the Referrals

If you or someone you know has suffered a personal injury and needs legal help, call us. If someone you know has had a wrongful death in their family due to someone’s negligence, contact a Street personal injury lawyer today. Our personal injury legal staff pledge to do their best to obtain the compensation every personal injury victim needs and deserves.

The overwhelming majority of our personal injury clients come from referrals by our previous clients. We are grateful that many of our clients and friends feel confident in recommending our firm. In fact, the STREET LAW FIRM has received over 5,000 referrals from satisfied clients.